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ARE YOU REPEATING BEHAVIOURS THAT ARE GETTING YOU... NOWHERE!?
If it’s to be – it’s up to me
This is such a cliché – I normally try and avoid the more obvious ones but this one is so true it made it’s way into my book.There are so many people who are not achieving what they want and have every excuse or reason under the sun why. But how many times do we feel humbled by people who are starting off with less than us, or with greater challenges than we have, but are still achieving great things.
To be fantastic, we have to start looking at ourselves. It’s the foundation of the success pyramid – take responsibility. It is important that you understand the difference between responsibility and blame, or fault. Of course sometimes you are taking responsibility for the blame – “it was my fault.” But there is a difference between the two.
Many people say to me that their ‘boss’ doesn’t respect them, doesn't communicate well, or doesn’t have any time for them. Or I hear that their partner in life doesn't give them the love and affection that they would like. Often these people are saying it’s not my fault. Maybe it isn't but my question is always the same: “Do you want it to change?” If the answer is yes, then it is your responsibility to do something about it, even if it’s not your fault.
If you want change, change something.
The fly test
Picture a sunny day. You’re in the kitchen and the back door is open. A fly flies into your kitchen and as it buzzes around, it sees through the window – blue sky, trees and grass. That’s what I'm looking for it thinks, and heads straight for it.
Now you may be surprised to know that flies have no perception of glass! SMACK! It must be quite a shock. However, the fly seems to recover quite well and continues buzzing around until again, it sees through the window – blue sky, trees and grass and SMACK! They don’t learn too well these flies. In fact it will carry on doing this for hours if you let it.The fly keeps repeating the behaviour that is getting it nowhere. If only it would just go in a different direction, it would achieve the desired result – the back door is open!
So that’s the fly test – repeating a behaviour that is getting us nowhere, over and over and over again. We all need to take a fly test sometimes in our life. How many people do you know that want changes in their life but are not prepared to change anything? People who want to stop smoking, but continue to put cigarettes in their mouth.
People who want to lose weight, but continue to eat too much. People who want to get fit, but don’t go to the gym. People who want to save money, but continue to spend more than they earn. If you want change, change something. Fantastic people understand that they have to take responsibility.
There are people standing beside the road of life with their thumb out waiting to be taken to where they want to go, whilst others are already driving there!
